Creating a Sleep Sanctuary: The Little Rituals That Help Me Rest

Sleep has been a bit of a challenge for me lately.

Right now I am in one of those phases where I toss and turn throughout the night. I pull the sheets over me and get too hot. I kick them off and then I am too cold. Even when I do fall asleep, it does not always feel like deep, restorative sleep. Instead, my thoughts seem to cycle endlessly through my mind like a Peloton ride or a song that refuses to leave my head after my teenage daughter has played it on repeat in the car all week.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that quality sleep is not something that just happens when my head hits the pillow. It is something I have to intentionally create.

Over time I have developed a collection of simple evening rituals that help signal to my body that it is time to slow down, relax, and prepare for rest.

Creating a Cooler Sleep Environment

One of the biggest challenges for me is temperature regulation.

Recently I purchased a cooling body pillow and one of the Evercool cooling comforters. The fabric feels cool to the touch and I have noticed a significant difference in how comfortable I feel throughout the night.

If you are considering a cooling comforter, I would also suggest investing in matching cooling sheets or a high-quality bamboo sheet set. While I love cotton sheets during the winter months, I find they can trap heat and do not provide that cool-to-the-touch feeling that makes climbing into bed so enjoyable.

I also prefer natural fibers whenever possible. I tend to avoid synthetic fabrics and gravitate toward bamboo, silk, and cotton. Silk pillowcases have become another favorite in our household, especially for reducing friction on the skin.

The Simple Power of an Eye Mask

One of the most effective sleep tools I have ever purchased is surprisingly inexpensive: an eye mask.

There is a growing body of research supporting the importance of sleeping in complete darkness. Even small amounts of ambient light from alarm clocks, charging devices, and fans may interfere with our circadian rhythms and sleep quality.

A study published in the journal Sleep found that wearing an eye mask while sleeping improved next-day alertness and memory performance. Researchers concluded that blocking ambient light during sleep enhanced learning and cognitive function the following day.

Researchers and sleep experts have associated eye mask use with falling asleep more easily, better sleep quality, reduced sleep disruption from ambient light, improved morning alertness, and better memory performance the next day.

Personally I have found that wearing an eye mask helps me fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up less frequently throughout the night.

My favorite is the NodPod weighted eye mask. What I love most about the design is that it does not strap around your head. The gentle weight rests comfortably across the eyes and provides a calming sensation that feels almost like a weighted blanket for the mind.

I have become so dependent on sleeping with an eye mask that if I forget it while traveling I will improvise with a rolled-up washcloth or even a pair of long socks from my suitcase.

Sometimes the smallest supports create the conditions for deeper rest.

Why I Take a Dark Shower Before Bed

Another habit I have come to love is taking a quick shower before bed.

For me, showering is not just about cleanliness. It is a ritual that signals the end of the day. Stepping into the shower allows me to wash the day away, both physically and mentally.

Lately I have been taking what some people call a dark shower. I keep the lights extremely dim, just enough to see my soap and shampoo.

While there are not many studies specifically examining dark showers, there is substantial research showing that evening exposure to bright light can delay melatonin release, shift circadian rhythms later, make it harder to fall asleep, and reduce sleep quality.

Interestingly, warm showers have their own sleep-promoting benefits. Research suggests that taking a warm shower approximately one to two hours before bedtime may help people fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality. When you step out of a warm shower your body begins cooling down, and that cooling process mirrors one of the body's natural signals that it is time to sleep.

My dark shower is simple and usually takes less than five minutes. I use a lavender bar soap, a sponge, and gently cleanse my face. I wear a shower cap so my hair stays dry and I keep the routine as uncomplicated as possible.

Less is always more.

The Self-Care Ritual I Never Skip

After my shower comes my favorite part of the evening.

I apply a very small amount of Suet'Amor to my face and to any delicate skin that could benefit from extra moisture and comfort. A little goes a long way.

I use just enough to leave the skin feeling soft, nourished, and comfortable. It has become one of those small nightly rituals that helps me transition from the busyness of the day into a calmer state of mind.

I also never sleep in underwear.

This habit actually comes from my grandmother. When I was little she told me that everything needed a chance to breathe at night. I took her advice quite literally and have slept in loose pajama bottoms or a nightgown ever since.

Grandmothers often know a thing or two.

Magnesium, Chamomile, and Putting the Phone Away

Another part of my evening routine includes magnesium glycinate, which many sleep specialists and integrative practitioners recommend as one of the preferred forms of magnesium for relaxation and sleep support.

Sometimes I will enjoy a warm cup of chamomile tea as well.

Perhaps just as important as what I add to my evening routine is what I remove.

I try to limit blue light exposure from my phone and make an effort to plug it in by 8:00 PM. Endless scrolling before bed rarely helps me feel relaxed or sleepy.

I also try to avoid eating large meals or processed sugar right before bedtime. If I can finish dinner between 6:00 and 7:00 PM I usually feel much better when it is time to sleep.

After dinner I enjoy taking a gentle ten-minute walk with my dog. It gives me a chance to move my body, clear my mind, and let him investigate every scent along the way.

The Sleep Benefits of Connection

When the stars align and my husband and I are not completely exhausted from the day, we also prioritize connection.

Interestingly, research continues to show that intimacy may support better sleep. A pilot study published in Sleep Health found that engaging in sexual activity, whether solo or with a partner, reduced the amount of time participants spent awake during the night and improved overall sleep efficiency.

Quality intimacy does not just strengthen connection. It may also support deeper, more restful sleep through relaxation, stress reduction, and the release of natural feel-good hormones.

Sleep Starts Before Bedtime

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that sleep is not just about what happens when your head hits the pillow. The hour before bedtime matters.

Take a quiet walk. Dim the lights. Take a warm shower. Put away the screens. Slip on an eye mask. Connect with someone you love. Add a little Suet'Amor to your evening self-care ritual.

Create an environment that tells your body it is safe to rest.

Because sometimes the secret to better sleep is not one magic solution. It is a collection of small, intentional habits that gently guide us toward rest.

Please note: This article reflects the personal experience of our founder and is not intended as medical advice. If you are experiencing significant sleep disruption, please consult your healthcare provider.

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